One Minute of Peace — That’s All I Ask
Mgazi was eating breakfast at the island in the kitchen. I could dangle a hundred dollar bill in front of her face. She wouldn’t bother to look up from her plate. Nothing gets between Mgazi and her...
View ArticleMgazi Requests Her Privacy… in Writing
My husband and I just bought a new house. Our number one reason? So we could have our own bathroom. We bought a WHOLE ENTIRE HOUSE so we could pee in private. Turns out, I have my own bathroom but I...
View ArticleBladder Betrayal
The kids were invited to a birthday party. I hate going to kid’s birthday parties. I hate my own kids’ birthday parties. But it was at a gym and I decided that I would squish my desire to grumble and...
View ArticleZaffron Levies a Bathroom Tax
In the kitchen: Zaffy: Mom, you owe me 25 cents. Me: What for? Zaffy: You used the kids’ bathroom. Me: You’re charging me for using your bathroom? Zaffy: Yes! You said this was the kids’ bathroom when...
View ArticleOutwitted by Kiddie Logic No More
I routinely find myself on the losing end when a conversation includes my children. I’ll be trying to impart some teeny bit of parental wisdom and they’ll turn it on its head by applying their own...
View ArticleMaya’s Mom is Going to get Sex
In the car: Mgazi: Maya’s mom is going to get sex. Me: Um what? Mgazi: Maya’s mom. She told me she’s going to get sex. Me: Honey, I don’t think that can be what she said. Mgazi: Mommy! Listen to what...
View ArticleWant to be a better mom? Leave the kids at home!
Families in the loop has posted my latest! I’m very grateful for their support. Here it is… I’m a selfish parent, which makes me kind of a crappy parent. I have a solid distaste for parenting...
View ArticleThe Unraveling of Me
I asked the child to do a simple thing. That right there was my first mistake. “Mgazi, please get your shoes on. We don’t want to be late for school.” Mgazi spends the next two minutes dawdling outside...
View ArticleMgazi Uses Her Connections
In the car: Zaffron: Mommy, Mgazi is in the kissing family. Mgazi: Be quiet! I am not! Zaffron: She is too. It’s gross. Mgazi: Ok. I’m in the kissing family. But only a little. Me: I don’t get it....
View ArticleCoco is Dead. Long Live Coco.
I had been out of town for several days. My phone rang. It was Zaffron. She was crying. “Coco is dead, Mommy! Coco is dead!” “Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. Who’s Coco?” “He’s one of the fish we bought for...
View ArticleAll Signs Point To Old
I had lunch with a dynamo of a woman recently. She’s 89 years old. Sharp, witty, and fantabulous. Everything I want to be at her age. Any age, really. As we were leaving the restaurant she said to me,...
View ArticleWhat Happens When The Kids Try To Break Into My Phone
The kids routinely try to figure out the password on my iPhone. This is what happens when they become bored after many failed attempts:
View ArticleGlad I’m Paying for those Karate Lessons
Overheard: Mgazi: AAAAAAARRRGGGGGAAAAAAH! <– That’s supposed to be a scream Zaffy: I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Mgazi: You punched me! Zaffy: I did not! Mgazi: You did! Zaffy: I smacked you with the back...
View ArticleDo My Kids Know I Love Them?
I love my children dearly. But honestly, there are times when I doubt they can tell. Families in the Loop is featuring a blog post of mine this week. I hope you give it a read: AFTER A DAD’S SUICIDE I...
View ArticleZaffron Levies a Bathroom Tax
In the kitchen: Zaffy: Mom, you owe me 25 cents. Me: What for? Zaffy: You used the kids’ bathroom. Me: You’re charging me for using your bathroom? Zaffy: Yes! You said this was the kids’ bathroom when...
View ArticleDear Russell, don’t be mad…
Dear Russell, Do you remember saying goodbye to me before I left for my trip to Paris? You kissed the top of my head and said, “Be safe. Don’t do anything stupid.” “Of course,” I promised as I got into...
View ArticleI don’t like you, Mommy
“I don’t like you, Mommy,” I whispered into my mother’s ear. “I love you.” I giggled, tickled with myself. I thought I was the cleverest 5-year-old she could ever meet. I nestled into her lap, certain...
View ArticleSolo Travel – Facing My Ferris Wheel Fear in Paris
Check out this video! It’s 1 minute 26 seconds long! One of the things that I love about traveling solo is how it opens up opportunities for me to face my fears. I’ve talked about this before… facing...
View ArticleIs Wine Allowed in 3rd Grade?
Me and Zaffy Friday morning Zaffron crawled into bed with me for a quick cuddle before she got ready for her last day of school. Me: Zaffy, I am so sorry, but I forgot the make the cookies for you to...
View ArticleOur Final Anniversary
My husband and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary at a fancy restaurant. After he ordered an expensive bottle of wine, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his gift to me. It was a...
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